How to Get Along with the World - Part Deux

   In my previous post I introduced an article that I wrote for a friend of mine who was planning a trip to France.  I had intitled it "How to Get Along with the French", but after reflection, I realized that the suggestions I had made can be applied to everyone anywhere in the world, including our own USA!  It all comes down to basic common courtesies, which, unfortunately, Americans seem to have lost.  My first point was that you should always greet everyone with a kind word and a smile.  I invite you to read the previous post - Part Un - and share any comments you may have.
   Here's Part Deux:

***Expect that everything will take a little longer than it would in the US.  Learn patience, s’il vous plait!  That means “please” and that’s another phrase that will help you get what you want faster (sounds like seel-voo-play).  It really doesn’t matter that your French sounds authentic.  It’s the fact that you are even trying that will impress them.
   I was in Houston a week ago visiting my favorite cousin (like a sister to me!), Cindy.  She and I have traveled together many times.  We talked about my list of how to get along with the world.  We shared our experiences of how much better we are received (in or out of the US) when we take the time to be polite.  Americans are so impatient - we want what we want when we want it, which is usually "right now!"
   Life is too short to plow full steam ahead without enjoying the moments.  If things are taking longer than you would like, ask yourself why it's so important for you to be in a hurry.  Are you missing a special moment now because you're in such a hurry to be somewhere next?  Be patient and say "please".  And that brings me to my next point:

***Always show appreciation for what someone has done for you (even if it was expected because that’s their job or it was slower than you wanted).  So practice saying “merci” (sounds like mare-see).  When I was in Houston with Cindy, she took me to a couple of French restaurants and an Italian Pizzeria (yes, they exist in Houston, Texas!).  Rather than just ordering, we asked the waitress (At Bistro Provence) about the dishes, how they were prepared and what she suggested.  We took our time as did she.  We started with a glass of wine and enjoyed the evening - which was beautiful as we sat outside.  She came back after the meal and brought a fellow waiter.  Both of them visited with us and were interested in our travels to France.  It wasn't just a meal, it was a great experience and evening.
   The next day we had lunch at an Italian pizza restaurant.  Again we asked the waiter about the wine list, the menu, made comments about the decor and how much we liked the place.  Before long the owner came over and chatted with us.  This is very European and I love it.  The owner is usually the manager and they make it a point to visit with their clientele.  If you don't have time to visit, then hit the drive-through at your local fast food place!
My last day in Houston, we tried out a new French restaurant.  Again, because of our interest in everything and our show of appreciation, we had a visit from the manager and some great suggestions by the waiter.
And Cindy and I, once again, talked about how just a little kindness and appreciation goes a long way toward having a great experience - for everyone.
   As I did last time, I'll end with a challenge.  This week, make it a point to say "please" and "thank you" to everyone who does something for you.  I can't tell you how many times I've been in the cashier line at the grocer's or the fast food place or even a nice restaurant, and the clients hardly say two words to the cashier.  (They're usually busy talking on their cell phone - but, don't get me started on that!)  What a better day everyone will have if we all say "hello", "good-bye", "please" and "thank you"!  A bientôt! 

How to get along with the French (and the rest of the world!)- Part Un

I originally wrote this for a friend who seemed wary about visiting France having heard numerous stories from fellow Americans who thought the French were unfriendly.  After I wrote these, I realize that what I have here are simple common courtesies that, unfortunately, our society has ignored over the past few decades.  I love quoting my grandpa who said: "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."  

This will begin a series of posts from my "How to Get Along with the French" suggestions.  But actually it should be called "How Not to be Known as the Ugly American."

I know that there is a stereotype of the “typical Frenchman”.  That chain-smoking, sneering, complaining, rude Frenchman.  But the truth is, it’s the stereotypical American that causes the problems with Franco-American relations.  (and, by the way, France is now a non-smoking country!  Hooray!)

This so-called typical American is used to fast everything – food and service at the top of their list.  Admit it, we want what we want the way we want it NOW!  (I can say this because I am an American and know of which I speak!)

The typical Frenchman, on the other hand, prefers life to move slowly.  (Notice I said “life” not traffic! Ha!)  Here is rule number 1 to help you find cooperation from the French (and everyone else):

1. Always say “Bonjour” (sounds like bohn-zhoor) or if it’s 7pm or later “Bonsoir" (sounds like bohnswahr).  Whether you are addressing the waiter, the fast-food server, the bathroom attendant, the ticket taker, the cashier, the hotel worker – it doesn’t matter.  Good manners and kind words go a long way in any language, but even further with the French.  And throw a big smile in there, too!

 How sad that we have to be reminded to give a simple greeting.  I know when we're traveling we often have time limits - 20 minutes for breakfast, 10 minutes to get to the metro, we can spend 2 hours at the museum and then we have to be at the restaurant for lunch precisely at noon.  You know how it goes.  And so we are often so trapped in our own little schedule that we forget there are people on the parameter of our own little world.   
So, my advice for this first "rule" is to be polite and take time to greet the people you come in contact with.  I have found that Americans are often surprised and yet delighted that I will greet them and ask how they are - at the drive-through window, at the grocery store, at the doctor's office.  We are so programmed in the US to just get the job done that we forget to be polite.
The French don't forget politeness, and they (as well as the rest of the world!) will be so pleasantly surprised that an American has greeted them that they will go out of their way to be helpful.
I shall issue you a challenge for this week.  Make it a point to greet everyone you come in contact with, not just your friends and colleagues.   It is true what they say about karma!  Next week I'll give you rules 2 and 3.  Have a great week everyone.  A bientôt!