How to get along with the French (and the rest of the world!)- Part Un

I originally wrote this for a friend who seemed wary about visiting France having heard numerous stories from fellow Americans who thought the French were unfriendly.  After I wrote these, I realize that what I have here are simple common courtesies that, unfortunately, our society has ignored over the past few decades.  I love quoting my grandpa who said: "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."  

This will begin a series of posts from my "How to Get Along with the French" suggestions.  But actually it should be called "How Not to be Known as the Ugly American."

I know that there is a stereotype of the “typical Frenchman”.  That chain-smoking, sneering, complaining, rude Frenchman.  But the truth is, it’s the stereotypical American that causes the problems with Franco-American relations.  (and, by the way, France is now a non-smoking country!  Hooray!)

This so-called typical American is used to fast everything – food and service at the top of their list.  Admit it, we want what we want the way we want it NOW!  (I can say this because I am an American and know of which I speak!)

The typical Frenchman, on the other hand, prefers life to move slowly.  (Notice I said “life” not traffic! Ha!)  Here is rule number 1 to help you find cooperation from the French (and everyone else):

1. Always say “Bonjour” (sounds like bohn-zhoor) or if it’s 7pm or later “Bonsoir" (sounds like bohnswahr).  Whether you are addressing the waiter, the fast-food server, the bathroom attendant, the ticket taker, the cashier, the hotel worker – it doesn’t matter.  Good manners and kind words go a long way in any language, but even further with the French.  And throw a big smile in there, too!

 How sad that we have to be reminded to give a simple greeting.  I know when we're traveling we often have time limits - 20 minutes for breakfast, 10 minutes to get to the metro, we can spend 2 hours at the museum and then we have to be at the restaurant for lunch precisely at noon.  You know how it goes.  And so we are often so trapped in our own little schedule that we forget there are people on the parameter of our own little world.   
So, my advice for this first "rule" is to be polite and take time to greet the people you come in contact with.  I have found that Americans are often surprised and yet delighted that I will greet them and ask how they are - at the drive-through window, at the grocery store, at the doctor's office.  We are so programmed in the US to just get the job done that we forget to be polite.
The French don't forget politeness, and they (as well as the rest of the world!) will be so pleasantly surprised that an American has greeted them that they will go out of their way to be helpful.
I shall issue you a challenge for this week.  Make it a point to greet everyone you come in contact with, not just your friends and colleagues.   It is true what they say about karma!  Next week I'll give you rules 2 and 3.  Have a great week everyone.  A bientôt!